Why I Changed My Name - Out With the Old, In With the New!
- Nora Love
- Dec 2, 2024
- 7 min read
Updated: Dec 6, 2024
On October 23, 2024, a Texas judge signed the order to legally change my name from Rebecca (Becky) Long to Nora Love.
For the past few years, I’ve been on an incredible healing journey, and changing my name is a meaningful part of that process. Changing my name symbolizes a fresh start and allows me to reclaim my story and leave behind painful chapters tied to my old name. This decision wasn’t made lightly. It took me over two years of healing and soul searching to pick a name that truly felt like me. I am ready to step into this next chapter of my life, but it was not an easy journey to get here.
In 2022, as I was flooded with memories from childhood and began to unpack trauma that had been tucked away for decades, I learned some absolutely insane dark truths about my dad. And when I say insane, I mean the kind of insane that would cause someone to have a nervous breakdown kind of insane, because that’s pretty much what happened to me. I don’t feel like I will ever have the words to adequately describe the pain and devastation that I felt all the way to the very depths of my soul. I checked into a 30 day inpatient trauma treatment program not even sure I wanted to live another 30 days. I didn’t think I could take one more day of sorting through the pieces of the death and destruction my dad left behind AND process and heal from what happened to me as a child. That was 1,006 days ago today.
Becoming the Adult I Needed as a Child
As a little girl, I remember holding my 80s hot pink boombox to the speaker of our giant console television desperately trying to record some of the songs from my favorite movie, Pete’s Dragon, onto a cassette tape. I knew we had to return the VHS tape of Pete's Dragon to Blockbuster soon. I wanted to be able to play some of the songs from the movie over and over because 1) the songs touched my soul and 2) I loved the main character, Nora, who sang most of the songs. If you haven't seen Pete's Dragon (I highly recommend watching it), Pete escaped an abusive family with help from his magical, and sometimes mischievous, dragon, Elliott, and Nora, who eventually adopted him.
I absolutely adored Nora. And who wouldn't want a cute pink and green magical dragon like Elliott?! Nora was resilient, strong willed, independent, outspoken, compassionate, playful, loving, and most importantly, so very protective of Pete. As a little girl, I desperately needed and wanted a Nora to swoop in and save me. Little did I know that I’d grow up to be my own version of Nora who would swoop in and do the saving.
Nora Means "Light"
Nora is incredibly meaningful to me because it means "light" and is of Irish origin. My Aunt Bev, who passed away in 2011, loved the country of Ireland and visited there often. My Aunt Bev lived in another state when I was growing up, so unfortunately I didn't get to see her often, and she had no clue I was growing up in a house of horrors. She was the only adult that made me feel safe and seen in my family. I loved every minute with her.
My Aunt Bev's ashes were spread at one of her favorite places, Ross Castle in Ireland, as she requested. She suffered a lot in her final days, but not once did her beautiful light waver. Years later, in 2022, I went for a walk and I asked my Aunt Bev for guidance. I also asked her to send me a four leaf clover as a sign. I felt a little silly asking for guidance AND a sign as rare as a four leaf clover because I wasn’t sure what I believed anymore so asking for anything from the spirit world was BIG for me. And the chances of finding a four leaf clover are around 1 in 10,000. I remember thinking that I would give it around two years...that I would search for a four leaf clover every chance I got for the next two years, and if I found one, I would have my answer. Finding one would mean I would have to do something brave. Something that I knew in my soul needed to be done, but I. was. terrified. After this internal dialogue and my Hail Mary prayer for guidance and a sign, I knelt down to a patch of clovers and did a quick scan, gently moved some of the taller clovers to see the ones underneath, and I spotted it immediately...a four leaf clover.
I sat there for a few minutes in absolute disbelief counting the 4 leaves over and over. One-two-three-four. One-two-three-four. I was overwhelmed with gratitude AND fear, but I had my answer. I knew in that moment, without a doubt, that I had a very clear sign. I had to do the brave thing. I have found over 15 four leaf clovers since that day, only on meaningful days or days when I desperately needed to know I was loved and supported, including today as I was working on this post.
My kids and I planted a memorial garden for my aunt on St Patrick’s Day of 2024 and I as I was cleaning up, I looked down and spotted 3 four leaf clovers in the same patch, two of them growing right next to each other! There have been so many other incredible signs and synchronicities in the last few years. I don't understand it all but I am constantly reminded that I am supported and on the right path. It would take a book to share all of the beautiful signs and synchronicities from the other side, which I plan to start working on this next year.
LO-NG to LO-VE: Changing My Ending
We found out that my daughter, Esmé, had a rare congenital heart defect in December of 2022 that would require open heart surgery. It was absolute hell. She was so brave. And that pretty much sums up that experience. Her surgery was successful, and she was actually released from the hospital on St. Patrick's Day of 2023. 🍀
Esmé has considered becoming a pediatric cardiologist someday to help other kids like herself. We were sitting at the table one evening discussing last name options, and she jokingly said, “What about the last name Love? Because then I could be a heart surgeon named Dr. Love.” We belly laughed. And then I thought oh, hold up, Nora Love. I glanced at my fireplace which displayed the word “love” in gold wooden letters on my mantle and one of my favorite quotes came to mind by Ram Dass, “I would like my life to be a statement of love and compassion--and where it isn't, that's where my work lies." And then I thought how changing my last name from LO-NG to LO-VE was incredibly symbolic and powerful. I didn’t get to choose what happened to me in the beginning, but damn it, I get to choose my ending. And I think we could all agree that we definitely need a lot more love in the world right now.
So, there you have it, my new name:
Nora Love.
I still have some really hard days. Some I-hurt-too-much-it-physically-aches days. And a few I-don't-want-to-get-out-of-bed days. But I have done so much work, and I have had an incredible amount of healing in my mind, body, and soul. I'm stronger. Wiser. Calmer. More grateful. More loving. More compassionate. More whole. And maybe just a tad bit weirder. 😉 And 1,006 days later, I mostly have I-am-going-to-let-my-light-shine kind of days.
I don't know exactly what my future holds, but I know without a doubt, that my purpose is to help other people heal from childhood trauma. I am so grateful for my therapist, my tribe of friends that held me in my darkest hours, and The Sanctuary at Sedona. I am working towards becoming a certified Energy Healing Practitioner, starting a blog about my healing journey, writing a book, and launching a non-profit, RisingStronger.org, to help survivors of familial sex trafficking and exploitation heal, as well as raise awareness. It's a dark side of humanity that needs a lot of light. In the meantime, I am enjoying the last few years I have left at home with my two youngest kids, and I will continue to work with clients at Evolve Collective and the Evolve Fund.
Thank you all for your support during this transition and for being a part of my journey. I am leaving you with the video of Nora, played by Helen Reddy in Pete's Dragon, singing "I'll Be Your Candle on the Water", along with the lyrics. May we all be candles to each other.
All the best,
Nora Love
I'll Be Your Candle on the Water
I'll be your candle on the water, my love for you will always burn.
I know you're lost and drifting, but the clouds are lifting,
don't give up, you have somewhere to turn.
I'll be your candle on the water, 'till every wave is warm and bright.
My soul is there beside you, let this candle guide you,
soon you'll see a golden stream of light.
A cold and friendless tide has found you,
don't let the stormy darkness pull you down.
I'll paint a ray of hope around you,
circling in the air, lighted by a prayer.
I'll be your candle on the water, this flame inside of me will grow.
Keep holding on, you'll make it, here's my hand so take it.
Look for me, reaching out to show, as sure as rivers flow,
I'll never let you go. I'll never let you go. I'll never let you go...
-Nora (Pete's Dragon 1977)